I just felt like I wasn't saying anything worthwhile. I felt like I was wasting people's time. So I stopped writing into this blog. If you visited my Japanese Reflections blog and looked around for a bit, you would have noticed that I was writing into that again recently too.
There's this sense of urgency that I want to give away whatever the experience or knowledge I have accumulated over the years to those who might benefit from them. Cultural understanding, especially of Japanese and Americans from the middle class society. Business bi-lingual ability. How to really communicate in English in different countries like US, UK, Netherland. Office creation process in Japan. Dealing with different cultures growing up. Child birth experience. Making the most out of change that comes one's way.
Someone said, when you die, only thing you take with you is what you leave behind.
What I learned in Taos, New Mexico, from a Poet, Soge, is that we live to grow, learn and heal. I've known about growing and learning, but healing was something I have not thought about. I think I heal through giving. Something else she said that felt like rain on parched garden. Soge talked about teaching the grandchildren.
The grandchildren! I was beating myself up because the best I did for my kids didn't turn out so good. But when I thought of having a chance to do the different kind of the "best", it just felt so wonderful.