Fujiko Suda / Reflection

Wedding

She and the groom looked like a perfect match, like puzzle pieces that fit together to make a picture. Over the past month, I have attended two weddings, and both Ozaki-san¡Çs and Maya¡Çs weddings were immensely satisfying to attend. Both were filled with great people, style very different, yet so relaxed. Those weddings were great ways to show love and appreciation in many ways, love for each other, for their parents, for their family, their friends. And I felt love for her, so happy that she has reached another significant peak in her life. I think that¡Çs why I found these events to be very special. They weren¡Çt show offs. They were ways to show love for people, for life. Maybe that¡Çs what weddings are supposed to be traditionally. Maybe I¡Çm the only one who didn¡Çt know, who didn¡Çt understand. Like meaning of many writings, sayings, I didn¡Çt know the true meaning until I understood by experience.

I know well enough that getting married is just another marking point in life. Good and bad continue to happen, laughter and tears. Whether or not they stay together is not as important as how much they will grow while being together. Yet it is so wonderful to have a significant other in one¡Çs life, someone to grow together. Really, being so close to each other, husband or wife would often be a source of great pain that helps the other grow. That is the beauty of being married, I think. Life is so much richer as two people struggle and conquer in ever higher ground in the domain of love. As Paulo Coelho writes, one is never at peace in love.

Having met Maya¡Çs long time friends was something special in itself. I have heard so much about them over the past 3 years I have known her, and knew these were special women, who held their own, who walked paths of adventure and discovery in life. Their love for her was apparent, and I admired and respected them, as much as I do Maya.

The wedding was beautiful, but it shone especially because of the bride. Beautiful bride that signifies the continuation of life. I wish Maya a good life. And I thank her to allow me to participate in one great event of her life.

On mother's day

Mother's day has come and gone. Gave both my mother-in-law and my mother skarves. Long shimmering earth toned one for my mother-in-law so that she could wear it when she goes to see plays. Active light bule with white circles for my mother so that she could wear it to work. It wasn't just gift giving. I really do appreciate both of them, my mother-in-law for being a house manager for our family of six, my mother for doing her best in raising me, loving me, always being confident in my abilities. I am truly lucky to have had these women.

Here I am, happy in life. But then I know I had to work to get where I am, I had lots of luck. As I was doing house work chores which my mother-in-law usually does (she went out to onsen trip overnight), I reflected on the situations of majority of working mothers in Japan. Never enough time to do anything for herself. Housework, kids schools, pressures at work, many working long, long hours, still not be able to do work via internet. God, I know, because I was there. It was like that for me before my mother-in-law moved in with us. It was like being on a tightrope without a safety net.

And here I am, talking as if I know what I am doing about "ba" for knowledge workers, technologists. What about these women? Women are about half the population. These Japanese women, so many of them highly educated, very, very smart, very talented. One thing that lack in majority of them is the will to succeed, to have it all. They just don't think of having all, husband, kids, family, great work, life for herself is not possible. Maybe I am missing the point, but then I think I have it all. Not perfect, but things are in balance. How should I recommend a workplace if I don't know how it is with these majority of women?

The reenforcement to my feeling of how little I know was augmented as I read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0805061738/qid=1052667206/sr=1-5/ref=sr_1_5/002-3955098-1740028?v=glance&s=books">The Making of a Chef </a>by Michael Ruhlman. Oh, boy, I am really getting into this book! Started off kind of slow, but a quarter of the way through, I got totally caught up, and I feel the confirmation of different kinds of work for different breeds of people. However, many rules of work are applicable everywhere. That is why I am beginning to love this book.

Confirmation that I know so little about many things in life, including about people and "ba". And what really gets to me now is that I am desperate to be in flow with my work. Yet it has been so hard over the past few months. I have this need to let my thoughts flow now...

Making Mistakes

How is your Thursday starting out?

I'm going at snail's pace in reading Nonaka-san and Konno-san's book, <a href="http://www.amazon.co.jp/exec/obidos/ASIN/4492521364/qid=1051750097/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_2_1/250-8911424-4441852">M<u>ethodology of Kowledge Creation</u></a>. I've told you several days ago I started reading it, right?

Just wanted to share what I am thinking while I am reading it. I like the book so far, because it attempts to encourage the Japanese business people in growing and making progress. They go all the way back to Plato, Aristotle, then jump to Descartes, on down to contemporary philosophers and scholars. I've just completed reading a passage about Mao Tse-tung, and I see where Nonaka-san got the inspiration for his SECI process.

As much as I enjoy reading this kind of writing, I realize that I am becoming more and more fascinated with how things actually happen. What I mean is, after the fact, everything become data, information, and one could gather them and find thread of common traites in many things. However, in life, things happen so fast, both within and without that knowing these things literally helps only little with any decision making. Experience seems to be the only thing that really affects behavior.

Which reminds me of what I read in <a href="http://www.tompeters.com/cool_friends/content.asp">tompeters.com </a>last night. There was an article about interview to Richard Farson, coauthor of <u><a href="http://www.amazon.co.jp/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743225929/qid=1051750311/sr=1-4/ref=sr_1_0_4/250-8911424-4441852">Whoever Makes the Most Mistakes Wins: The Paradox of Innovation</a></u>. Well, the title seems to speak for itself.